Absent

I can't believe it has been so long since I posted.  I felt so run down which turned to feeling blah, to not caring, to pick yourself back up, lack of activity won't make it any better.  So yesterday instead of driving to my 8 am meeting and having to worry about parking I biked, from home to Joseph Brant Hospital (at Lakeshore and Maple), then up Brant to CIBC, back down Brant and over to Maple and Lakeshore for a Nia class (It has been at lest four years since I have done NIA and it was delicious and lovely) then I biked home.  My gluts were tight, and once I stopped biking my legs felt very heavy.

Today I went into the pool for Aquafit and that was nice.  In the evening I was hot from cleaning so I biked out to Tim's (instead of driving) to get a frozen lemonade.  On my way back I bumped into a client who mentioned she could see some weight loss in my face.  Hooray, more incentive to keep going.

I really enjoyed the bike ride and want to do more.  I am done with running for now.  Our pool is open so more swimming instead.  Unfortunately I do have a lot more desk work to do so I will integrate exercise breaks to stimulate mind and body.

Anyway now I must get some sleep, I have a long day ahead of me and I need to vacuum and want to get a bike ride in and maybe a labyrinth walk in before my interview for June birth at 10:45 am in Mississauga and a prenatal class from home from 1 - 6 pm.

In a funk

I don't know if it is PMS, result of over-training (which I don't think I am doing), lack of good sleep, the stress of cash not flowing as readily as it should or a combination but I am really struggling with motivation.  I feel like I want to hibernate, curl under a blanket and do nothing.

I had a hard time falling asleep and woke up at regular intervals throughout the night.  I went out for my run at 6:30 am despite the fact my alarm was not set, because on Friday I wasn't sleeping well either and woke up before my alarm so I shut it off.  I only managed to do 5 minute warm up, 8 minute run and 5 minute cool down then I needed to come home and go to the bathroom.  I had planned on doing my strength training after but I just can't muster it, all I want to do is climb into bed, plus I am feeling emotional and melancholy.

I have an Aquafit class to teach this morning and that normally perks me up, then home to get some work done, at 4 pm I am meeting up with a girlfriend and we are car pooling to a meeting from 5 - 9 pm.  Anyway, time for my tea, pity party is over.

No energy

Today I woke up before my alarm.  I went to the bathroom and started getting my stuff on to go for my run.  My knee was not feeling good, I pushed myself to try anyway, no maybe just a walk, if it's a walk maybe I should ask Marc to come along, but it looks like he is sleeping I shouldn't wake him, I wish I was still resting, I feel depleted.  Not to mention a yeast infection, I was not looking forward to running with.  Off came the pants and I crawled back into bed.  I felt okay with that, if I needed the rest that is what I would do.  I still had time between Elizabeth getting on the bus and Aquafit that I could still do my strength training.

I had my breakfast and was feeling really good, my knee felt fine.  Maybe I could go for a run from the bus stop.  Or maybe it is better just to do the strength training, because if I was feeling depleted maybe it will not be good to stress the body with the run and then be on the humid deck for Aquafit.  Maybe I could not do the run routine but time myself and see how long I could comfortably run for, that would be cool.  I have a long day planned so I decided to err on the side of caution.

I took my vitamins and decided to start on my B complex again.  I think the early starts to the morning have more to do with increased daylight and adjusting circadian rhythms, the night sleep is okay.  Hopefully that would help my energy as well.

So I walked Elizabeth to the bus and it was fatiguing.  I guess my body or some of its systems are stressed.  Maybe I will see if I can switch my reflexology session from next Friday to today.  I will increase my water and focus on really clean foods today.  I was planning on working from the computer but I think I need some time in the fresh air and sunshine.

I am covering two extra Aquafit classes (one Saturday and one Monday).  Tonight we are taking Marc out for his birthday dinner to avoid the pandemonium of Mother's Day, I hate when his birthday and Mother's day fall on the same date.  Then Juliet and I are heading to Toronto to see Rent.  Time to drink my Earl Grey Vanilla tea, recharge my batteries so I can give them my best on pool deck.  I am really looking forward to my head hitting the pillow tonight.

On track and rearing to go

Happy hump day.  Last night I was having issues sleeping again.  I am wondering if it is the Vitamin B complex I am taking.  I have it as early as possible in the morning.  I think I will stop for a bit and see if things improve.  Anyway it lead me to an early start this morning, and the sooner I start the more accomplished I can be.

My muscles are still a bit sore from Monday's strength training, I was hoping some hair of the dog (more exercise, not alcohol) would help get the lactic acid moving.  I did my 5-8-5-8-5 run followed by 4 minutes of body weight hi intensity exercise, got to stretch, pack my gear for the day, my water should now be at 80 degrees so I can make my green tea and prep a smoothie with spinach, pear, 1/4 banana, greek yogurt and some protein powder.  At 9 am I will teach my Aquafit class and rush home to work on the computer for six hours, followed by dinner and dishes, woohoo.

New game plan

Yesterday I did not end up going to water running.  I decided instead that I really want to work on defining my upper body and the time I had the best upper body tone was when I was teaching a class called Tone in Motion.  It combines simple steps to keep the heart rate elevated with hand weight strength training.  So I chose to do that instead.  At the physio appointment she taught me some cool things about how I hold my body, where I have limited mobility and proper umbrella (diaphragm) breathing.  Despite how tight my gluts may be they are not stabilizing me properly, which is what my chiro said as well.  So that is something I need to work on daily.

Today was weigh in day and I was not overly surprised to see there was not much change.  I am 178-179 lbs and lost 1/2" off my waist.  I would have liked to have seen more of a change but not surprised it wasn't there.  I realized that I have stopped having smoothies three times a week which really increases my protein intake, also my water intake slowed down.

Time for a new game plan.  I will continue to run on M/W/F and do 8 minute runs, with 5 minute warm up, recovery and cooldown walks.  On M/F I will do my Tone in Motion routine, and Wednesdays do a quick high intensity body weight resistance training.  Next week Juliet and I start a yoga class Tuesday nights and I plan to add yoga from home on Thursday mornings.  Weekends are for rest and house keeping.  M/W/F I will go back to smoothies for breakfast.  We will see how that progresses things along.  My goal is to get down to at least a 35" waist, which is the borderline for increased health risk.  Currently my waist size is 43".  I have far to go but I know I can do it.

Do over?

If at first you don't succeed try, try again.

Yesterday I was getting pain in my knee that I haven't experienced for 20 years.  It was so bad it close to immobilized me.  I started with heat and that made it worse, I had the TENS machine on for most of the day and that helped immensely.  By the end of the night there was no pain except when I did stairs.

This morning it felt okay until I brought my leg up to put on my socks.  I decided to go for my run anyway and listen to my knee, I don't want to do harm and be out for longer than necessary.  Today was a 5 walk, 10 run, 5 walk, 10 run, 5 walk and I was nervous about that mentally.  The first 10 minute stint my knee was good, by 8.5 - 9 minutes it took a lot of convincing to keep running and at 9.5 minutes I started walking, mentally I had no desire to keep running.  I walked for 5.5 minutes and started into my second 10 minute stint.  This time it was my body that was revolting.  First it was my hamstrings so I refocused my breathing to ensure I was getting in lots of oxygen for my hard working muscles.  Next I felt a twinge in my knee, I kept breathing to see if that would improve and it did.  I stumbled on a branch and that torqued the knee, a proverbial stumbling block could I overcome it, for about 20 seconds then I started walking.  But I didn't give up.  I walked for about 30 seconds and started running again for 1.5 then back to walking, ran for another 30 seconds but now my knee was saying not to push further.

So I here is my plan.  Today I have a physio appointment at 10:45 am.  There is a combo swim at 2 pm at Tansley Woods, I am going to go there and do my running in the water, that will better support the joints.  If mentally I cannot do the 10 minutes I will go back to last weeks routine.  I hope to get my strength training in before the water running.

I have just registered Juliet and I for yoga once a week and that starts next Tuesday.  It is one week sooner than I planned to add yoga but I think I can hack it.

Overall I am disappointed but not discouraged.  6 weeks ago I wasn't running at all and now I can run for 9 minutes comfortably.  I had no intentions of duration when I started out.  In fact I would be very happy to do interval training of 9 minute runs with body weight strength training in between the runs.  I want to maintain what I have achieved and possibly build my speed.  I still want to push for 10 minutes to overcome the mental challenge but for now I think the physical challenge is more of what I need.

I exceeded, I think

Yesterday was a "Do what you need" without judgement kind of day.  Thursday night I taught until 10 pm, I couldn't fall asleep until after 12 am and received a call from my third time repeat client that it was time to head to the hospital at 3:30 am.  I desperately sent out an email for coverage of my 10 am Aquafit class but no one could help out.  The baby was born at 8:05 am, I stayed until 9:40 am, arrived to class just in time, taught with very sore feet while ridiculously hungry.  I decided to get a milkshake, Santa Fe veggie wrap and orange cranberry muffin at Mc Donalds for my brunch.  It was lovely.  I rested and slept on the couch, watched the first episode of Downtown Abbey (it took three attempts to see it fully as I keep falling asleep.  I ignored the phone twice and a knock on the door.  For dinner we had french fries and honey garlic chicken.  I didn't drink enough water.  By 10 pm I was falling asleep on the couch so I went to bed.  I honoured my body's cues and it was a great day.

This morning I was awake by 6:15 am but stayed in bed until after 6:30 am.  I was very ready to get my run and strength training in so I could get the rest of my day going.  Elizabeth left for horseback riding camp just before 7:30 am and Juliet is off to work which means Marc and I have the day to ourselves.

The run today was 5 minute warm up, then two 8 minute runs sandwiching a 5 minute recovery walk, ending with 5 minute cooldown walk.  I left the house at around 7:25, the whole routine was supposed to be 31 minutes.  My iPod was not fully charged but I thought it had enough juice in it to cover me.  The first run was mostly into the wind and man was that ever tough.  You can't get the same breath in when a huge gust is hitting you in the face and the added resistance made it challenging.  I knew for the second run I needed to change my route otherwise I would once again be running head first into the wind.  I started running when it prompted me to and at one point I had this lovely little thought "My body is a shell, let you soul soar with the music." and that is what I did, it felt incredible.  I noticed tones in the music I had not experienced before, and I was experiencing them not just listening to them.  That lasted for a bit and then I started struggling.  Physically I felt fine but mentally I couldn't hold it.  I wanted to stop because I was simply tired of running.  I pushed through refocusing on my breath, thinking 'I am only failing myself', thinking of how accomplished I would feel once I was done.  I started mentally pleading with my iPod for the beep and "Begin 5 minute cooldown walk" but it was not coming.  I wanted to reach into my pocket and see how much time I had left but I thought that would make it harder.  I kept setting targets, 'I will run to the garbage can and it will beep', 'Okay to the car' 'To the yellow and black pole and then I am finished'.  As I neared the yellow and black pole I was mentally done, I reached into my pocket my iPod had a low battery warning.  When I cleared it the routine said it was completed.  I looked at the time and it was 7:58 am.  Does that mean I ran for over 13 minutes straight???  I cannot be sure but I think so.  That is awesome that physically and cardiovascular-ly I could do it comfortably.  It makes me concerned that motivationally and mentally it was rough.  I wanted to start running for the endorphins, the challenge, to get back into cardiovascular health and for the weight lost.  I never set an intention of how much of a run I wanted to do.  Will I be able to run for 20 + minutes?  What will I be happy with as I continue to increase my workout load?  Is there a set running time that mentally I tap out at, and the need for physical strength training will need to increase?  Where is that point?  Time will tell.

One thing I will say is on Thursday I was shaving my legs and my soleus muscle is back.  That was always my crowning achievement when my soleus muscle popped out from behind my calf (gastrocnemius) I love the look it and I have got to say it looks fierce.  I tried to take a picture but the light just didn't highlight how amazing it looks.

Now that I am almost done my coffee and have adequately come down from my long run it is time to do a bit of strength training, have a lovely warm shower and eat.  Have a great weekend everyone.

Half and half

I don't know if it was the chiropractic or sleeping for as long as I did on Tuesday but yesterday started out good, and got better to amazing energy as the day progressed.  Unfortunately I slept very poorly as a result but I got my run in earlier and it was an amazing run.  I took a sneak peak at it last night, two five minute runs sandwiching an eight minute stint, yikes!  I decided to run a different route so I had no expectations of how close I should be getting to the end of each running stint, the ground was really wet so I ran on the bike path, concrete versus grass, even that went well.  What was great was during my 8 minute stint the song "Long time running" came on which was comical and lovely, followed by "Here comes your man".  Now the brilliant part of that was

1. As I was running I had thought about the time Marc dreamed we were in an open field running towards each other with outstretched arms.  As he dreamed this his stretched out his arms and hit me in the face.
2. Marc had said he was going to come out and it was okay if I got ahead of him.  I woke up early and decided not to wake him.  As I was running I saw a figure coming through the fog.  ' Was that my man?', I would need to keep running to find out.  But alas no it was not, he had hair on the top of his head.

After the 8 minute stint there was what I expected to be a 3 minute walk and it seemed to drag on forever, I just wanted to run again which was lovely.  It was actually a 5 minute walk.  So overall I was back to half time walk, half time run (which warm up and cooldown) but 8 minute run, that was two minutes longer than Monday and I rocked it, it felt good and I was not struggling at all.  Woohoo me.

No run this morning

Wow yesterday I listened to my body and tried not to judge however I slept most of the day, woke up to drive Juliet to her chiro appointment, where Dr. Laura said "Let's get you adjusted too."  I felt nauseous in the car, while picking up dinner and carrying it into the house, when pee and felt better.  Slept solid through the night and feel better today.  I don't know what hit me but I am glad I took the day to care for myself.

I really didn't eat or drink much yesterday so I don't want to push myself with a run and then Aquafit this morning.  After Aquafit I have a reflexology appointment coming in then a quick lunch and up to Kinstruct for my first all staff meeting.  After that my calendar is clear for the day so I may opt to go out for a run later today if I feel up to it otherwise I will run tomorrow and Saturday.

Nauseous again

This sucks.  Nausea is not fun, it is physically exhausting.  I hope I am not coming down with something.  This morning I felt like I was burning up and nauseous.  Now I am cold, nauseous and tired.

I did my measurements.  My weight is 180 lbs and I lost 0.5" from both my hips and thighs.  I am a little disappointed it was not more however to nauseous to be worried.  I just want to lie back down again.  For the passed 4-5 days I have been feeling less than ambitious.   All I want to do is sit down and zone out so I guess the results are not surprising.  I think I need to get myself into a better sleep pattern, that should help.

The kettle has boiled so I am off to make my peppermint tea.  Lots of love to all of you.

Hell yah

It was great, then good, then tougher but I officially with warm up and cooldown ran the same amount of time as I walked.  It was 5 minute warm up, 5 minute run, 3 minute walk by which point I was itching to run again, ran for 6 minutes which went really well, I started to feel my legs working hard so I breathed deeper and that helped immensely, another 3 minute recovery walk and 5 minute run in which was harder.  I did it, there was a lot of wanting to give up, positive self talk, breath, mini targets, more positive self talk, I kept hearing the beeps alerting me to stop but knew I had to wait for the voice prompt, the beeps were just wishful sounds in my head.  In the end I was so freaking glad it was over, that last stint was tough.  It is likely because I got under 6 hours of sleep last night.  Totally my fault, I just couldn't sleep.

I got home and did my strength training, 1 minute burpies, 1 minute push up, and 2 minutes of chops.  Now I am waiting for my water to cool down so I can make my green tea.

Yesterday we went to the Aquarium which was cool except my family was so fast I didn't really get to fully explore, boohoo.  Also I got a piece of dirt in my eye and it got really swollen.  I put ice on it and disinfecting drops and it looks better this morning but I will need to do it again this morning.  It feels so much better than yesterday.

I am in a meeting from 9 am - 12 pm in Burlington, then to Stoney Creek for a postpartum visit with a client.  Tonight I have an interview in Oakville for a birth and will stop off at David's tea because they have a Lavender tea that I love.  I can't wait.  Have a great day everyone.

Accomplished morning

It is 9:07 am as I sit down to type this.  I have finished my run and strength training, drove Juliet to work, finished one load of laundry, prepared for my 90 minute reflexology session today, finally put away my teaching material from Thursday night and cleaned two floors of the house.  What a great start to a Saturday.  Today will be a fun and accomplished day and I will sleep brilliantly tonight.  Tomorrow is Juliet's 17th birthday.  What a wild and wonderful trip it has been.  My goal for the next 5 days is to constantly stay connected to the love.

By the way just for curiosity sake I stepped on the scale yesterday, I normally fight temptation to wait until Tuesday but I wanted to see if the water retention of the Chinese food was gone and it was, I was back down to 179 lbs.  That is just crazy and why it drives me nuts people get so hung up on the numbers.  Feel it and don't beat yourself up, learn from it and move on.

Happy Saturday everyone.

Unexpected

Last nights prenatal class was great but we went way over time.  Therefore Marc and I had a very late night.  This morning I am feeling very nauseous so I decided to do my run and strength training tomorrow.  Marc will be leaving early to help my mom, Juliet has work.  If I get up early enough I will go on my own, otherwise I will ask Elizabeth if she wants to bike beside me.

I am off to make a cup of "White Christmas tea" which has ginger and peppermint in it.  I hope that helps.

Glad it is over

Today was an accomplished day.  I cut my hair, vacuumed and cleaned the house, all before getting Elizabeth to school.  I finished the birth story, returned my re-hiring documents to the City of Burlington to teach Aquafit over the summer, took Grandmaman to the hospice and visited with Grandpapa briefly, went to Walmart to pick up a few things.  After that I ate lunch and completed my run/walk course and I am so glad it is over.  It was totally not what I was expecting.  There were ridiculous equations and all sorts of stuff I was not expecting.  I took the test today and failed the first time by 2%.  I put together the birth story and had a client come for reflexology. Then I paid an additional $11.95 to do a re-test of my course and passed with a 97%.  The book I got along with it looks really interesting and we only had to read 10 pages of it.  I think the book will be more appropriate to what I was hoping to learn.  Anyway at least now I got my 4 continuing education credits so I can easily recertify.  Now I just have to wait until June to recert for CPR and I can submit both documents and get my certificate to submit to the City of Burlington so I can continue to teach over the summer.

Now I need to prep the welcome bags and my props and material for my prenatal class tonight.  Tonight I will have a glass of wine and rest with my feet up the wall.  I am looking forward to tomorrow.  I hope you all have a wonderful night.

Holy crap

Hello everyone, happy hump day.  I woke up this morning with ease.  I didn't want to stay in bed.  That is a change for Wednesday.  Let's see if I can get through the day without needing a nap, that will be the true test.

Today's run was something else.  Marc came out with me which sometimes I find distracting because I pay attention to him and question my pace.  I had thought it may be helpful because there will be someone there watching me and I don't like failing in front of others.  There was an added two minutes of running today, bringing me to 16 minutes in total.  It was run 3 minutes, walk 2 minutes, run 5, 3 minutes twice and run 3 minutes, walk 2 minutes.  Holy crap.  When I put on my shoes my hamstrings were tight and all day yesterday my knee was bothering me.  I was not feeling overly confident as I started.  Not to mention there was a strong cross wind was strong at the bottom and head on wind along the first long straight.  The first 5 minutes went well until the last 20-30 seconds which was when I started noticing my hamstrings.  I preserved and felt so accomplished.  I was worried for the second stint but I found my stride and repeated the mantra "I can do it" on each exhale and it was easy.  For the final stint I was in the head on wind but I told myself  "I am stronger than any element, stronger than I believe, I can do anything".  Before I knew it time was up and it was time to walk home.  The whole workout was 36 minutes.  Friday it is 34 minutes, I will still run the same amount of time but on the 5 minute stints there will only be 2 minutes for recovery walk.

Today I will be heading out to teach Aquafit from 9:05 - 9:55 am, quick shower, then to Exquisite Taste in Wine to grab Girl Guide cookie money and make a batch of summer white wine.  Next to Kinstruct Health for a chiropractic exam and possible adjustment for 11 am.  Then home to polish and put together a birth story, work on my run/walk course and whatever else comes my way.  Tonight I will be going to a meditation circle at 7 pm and that will conclude my day.  But now it is time to stretch.  Ahhhhh

Disappointed but not discouraged

Yesterday was a decent day.  On top of my 75 minute workout in the morning Elizabeth and I went for a 30 minute bike ride, she played at the park for 10 minutes, I spent 3 minutes on the swing swinging side to side to engage my obliques and after dinner we went bowling.  I got a little frustrated during the day, Marc massage helped to relax me as did the glass of wine that followed.

This morning I woke up with a bit of a headache.  I am hoping between the green tea and headache balm and more hydration that it will be gone soon though I am at the computer all morning and afternoon, then driving and appointments all evening.

This morning I was so eager to come and do my meditation that I almost forgot to weigh in, maybe secretly I knew it was not going to be good although I would be surprised if I lost another two pounds I still thought I would have lost something.  I guess two days straight of Chinese food and dessert in a row was too much and literally tipped the scales.

I was back up to 182 lbs, that is 4 lbs up : (
The measurements held the same with the exception of my thighs.  Last week they were down 1.5" which I think may have been an incorrect measurement because this week they measured the same as the week before that.

Facts are facts.  I am confident with the added running load and the strength training this week that next week there will be more changes.  I do plan on having the last bit of Chinese leftovers we did not freeze for lunch or early dinner but then back to cleaner eating.  In regards to running with the exception of the warm-up and cooldown walk I am now running longer than I am walking which is wonderful.  We will see what next week's measurements look like.  I am not discouraged just disappointed, I can understand why the weight was increased, I know I do not have to work harder but just return to what I was doing.  I am confident I am on the correct path and feel good about this coming week.

Marvellous Monday

I was sleeping so soundly when my alarm went off this morning.  It was the sleep where it takes you a little bit to figure out what the sound is, then you realize it is your alarm and you wonder why it is going off, what day it is and if you really need to get out of bed.  So refreshing.  Marc chose not to get up but I did.

Wow what a run.  The most I have run was 10 minutes in total, today was 14 minutes and after the first 4 minute stint I felt incredible.  This was the second time since I started running that during my walk home my legs felt a little jello-y.  Not bad, just noticeable that I had worked them.

Once I got home I went to an upper body strength training routine.  All in with run, strength training and stretch it was 75 minutes.  The strength training felt great.  I forgot how much I love doing it.  Tomorrow my upper body will be tender but in a good way but for today I feel strong and very proud.  I would love to get a massage today.  Maybe I can convince Marc to practice the massage techniques we learned from the lovely Lara Stewart-Panko.

Today is all about hanging out with the girls.  I have absolutely nothing planned.  What a marvellous Monday!

What a profound experience

As I woke this morning I decided after driving Juliet to work I would take a coffee down to Paletta park and sit by the lake on the rocks and do my meditation.  Marc woke up as I was getting dressed and said he had a really weird dream.  He dreamed I was going to church this morning which made us both laugh but for me because in a way I was.  I was going to the park to sit and connect with the universal powers (wind, sun, water and personal).  To make it even more profound I had fallen behind on my meditations so the meditation I listened to today was on power and strength.  Seriously?!?!

In the passed at least 10 years I have known I am powerful beyond my beliefs.  I know there is unlimited power within me if I come to it from a place of trust and love with openness to learn.  As soon as I heard what the mediation was about I was a little put off, thinking I don't need to hear what I already know.  But I stuck it out knowing meditation is good for me.  There came an incredible point in my meditation when I closed my eyes and connected to the raw power, just then the wind picked up blowing a strong cold breeze, the waves became more intense and loudly lapped against the rocks, the sun seemed to beam even brighter.  It was an amazing culmination of energy and it was radiating so strong.  I felt so connected with everything in that moment, I allowed the energy to expand and the feeling was incredible.  Connected with everything and everyone, a truth and power from within and also external.  Raw matter, force, energy, love, hope in everything I saw and felt.  It was my "ta da" moment for the day.  What a great start to a sunny Sunday morning.

A day so full of potential

Marc and Juliet both had to go into work this morning so Elizabeth decided she would come into my bed and snuggle for a bit.  Wow did that ever bring back flashbacks.  I feel her legs against mine and her feet did not stop at my thighs but continued down passed my knees and to my shins.  She is still my baby but not my baby.  It wasn't long before she said "You know Mom, I don't normally sleep in this long." she was ready to move on with her day, as was I, I was just enjoying the closeness.  I guess I needed that because even the cat slept not only in our room but either beside my face, on my belly or by my feet all night long.

Today we have no commitments, no plans, just potential.  I am so excited and curious to see where it takes us.

I am feeling the need to be very active.  I am looking forward to not only increasing my load in running but also adding in two days of strength training.  It is something I have really missed doing and have managed to slot it in in a manner that will be manageable not overloading while still respecting my off days.

Now it is time to start my day. no more time in front of the computer.  Wishing you a strong Saturday.

My mantra

Sorry I did not post yesterday.  What started out as a shitty morning literally turned in to a really good day and high anxiety night.  I woke up yesterday morning to prepare for a very busy, lots of driving and sitting kind of day.  I finally put away the laundry I started last Friday, cleaned up my sheets and reflexology room from Monday to then have Elizabeth announce the upstairs toilet was clogged.  Marc bought a new plunger which he loves.  I was not so lucky with it.  After struggling with it for 20 minutes, sweating, with my clothes and the floor covered in poop coloured water I finally got it flushing.  Elizabeth had to pack her own lunch so likely not the best choices.   I got redressed, did a few more things and had to run out the door without breakfast.  Luckily I was meeting up with a friend at Starbucks (Trafalagar and Dundas).  That meant an expensive and not overly healthy breakfast of yougart and granola with a black coffee as I figured it would not be a good idea to get anything with milk or flavour shots.  From there I stopped off at Joe Fresh and did a bit of business casual clothes shopping although I ended up purchasing two cotton t-shirts, red solo cups, shampoo and underwear for Juliet and two bottles of white wine for Easter dinner on Sunday.  I then went to Payless Shoes stores and bought some super cute shoes (business casual) so overall I met my goal.  Down to Lakeshore and Trafalgar for a laser hair removal treatment and walked seven minutes (or so Google maps predicted) to The Green Bean Coffee Company to meet with a Holistic Nutritionist/RMT who wants to start networking.  Had an amazing lunch and London Fog, yummy.  Walked back to the car.  Stopped off at Dollarama because my cat litter scoop broke that morning and then home.  I received a text from a client while I was driving.  She was getting some prelabour signs.  Now this is my client I have already supported through two births and her labours are fast.  Now I didn't know what to do because I had class one of a prenatal class series starting at 7 pm.  It was 3:35 pm.  Do I go ahead with class knowing she will not need me until 9:30 - 10 pm once class is over, or do I postpone for one week?  I called my back up and another doula for advise and both said postpone it, ever just for the peace of mind and energy preservation.  In the end that is what I decided to do.  I had to stop several times and remind myself to breathe, I felt like I was just buzzing with anxiety of the hyper alert of being on call.  At 6:47 pm she texted to say everything settled down.  Crap, I should have gone ahead with class.  So that was yesterday.

Today is a new day.  I didn't realize but my run was 2 minute run, 2 minute walk, then two 3 MINUTE RUN, 3 minute walk, ending again with a 2 minute run, 2 minute walk.  It was tough, there was a lot of self talk going on that I adopted the mantra "I am stronger than my hormones" and that helped me overcome the negative self talk.  It did not help however with the menstrual cramps which got me wondering in women are endorphins and oxytocin constantly linked?  Because I seem to start getting menstrual cramps while walking after my second long stint of running, they cease while running and come back excessive strong on my final and cooldown walk.  I almost wanted to double over today they were so strong but "I am stronger than my hormones."

I will have an easy day today.  I am on high alert not only for my client but also tonight as a back up for a second time mama who was having early labour symptoms last night as well.  It could be a busy weekend.  Also Monday I took a sneak peak I have 3 minute run, 2 minute walk, two stints of 4 minute run, 3 minute walk, ending again with the 3 minute run, 2 minute walk.  Wow, it is amazing how far I have come.  Now time for breakfast.  Have a spectacular weekend.